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Saturday, August 21, 2010
**Warning: Rant post! Read at your own risk!**
It's always difficult to write about the people you know and yet don't know so well...so let's start from the beginning here!
Recently, I've not been on good terms with one of my friends. I admit that part of it has been contributed by me, mainly because I sms/say hi etc to this person online(let's call this person as A)in an attempt to keep updated and to sustain a friendship since there's a lack of contact in person. For starters, I guess that I'm unlucky by going that way. I feel so out of place right now that I don't even want to say anything lest A will hate me. I mean, things were going fine at the start and onwards...til at a point which I can't confirm when as of now. There are simply too many factors to consider and endless possibilities.
Argh. Life's complicated.
In general, truthfully, I have absolutely no idea what people expect of me sometimes. Seriously, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, or rather angry or whatsoever, TELL ME(preferably in the nicest possible way)at the 1st opportunity when it is brought up. An example would be to make a joke out of it and I'd get the hint. Afterwards, I'll do my best not to let things like that happen again. But of course, it must be within reason too. I am not a mind reader! At times, I have other things on my mind x=( (frowning face- knitted brows as x)
Most of all, it is extremely unfair to assume things about others before getting to know them well first. Getting facts right is of utmost importance before concluding. However, prejudice is hard to crack. Thus, I have decided to pretend that A no longer exists(for now). That may be the only way to demonstrate that I'm not that sort of person, since I cannot think of other ways other than this to prove my point at this moment. Nobody likes to be accused of things that they are not. Perhaps if things do improve in the future, which I highly doubt so, I will remain civil and be gracious to A.
I've had been more than a little sad to be thought of negatively, but I suppose that all I can do is to wait and see how things go(if any). Sorry to make you feel pressurised, A. I'm only a human being. I'm as fallible as the next person. I guess I had been mistaken about several things. Thus, I will henceforth discard everything that I once felt.
My apologies for bugging you so much. I had no intention of adding burden onto your shoulders. Having left with unanswered questions,there was further confusion, which led one to wonder what had happened. Truthfully, I hope to get enlightened in the future. However, at the rate things are going now, I guess that I'd be a mere afterthought, even forgotten. Who knows?
All's lost.
Note: Long post, and on the bright side, a good practice for me since I need to write essays in the future! Hopefully I'd have more success in those than with people. *sighhh* I'm terrible with words. I hope this clears some of the air of uncertainty.
Aww you're so cute!!
